How to plan a baby shower, step by step

Who hosts, and when

Anyone close to the parents can host. Two or three hosts make it lighter: one takes the invitations, another the food, another the games.

Most showers happen four to eight weeks before the due date: late enough that the pregnancy is well along, early enough that it's still comfortable and the gifts arrive before the birth. A weekend afternoon suits most guests.

Settle the date with the parents first. Some would rather celebrate after the birth, so everyone meets the baby, and that works just as well. For a second baby, a smaller party is common, with gifts for what's missing, like diapers or clothes for another season.

The budget, and who pays

Settle the budget early, with your co-hosts, before booking anything. The hosts usually pay for the party, not the parents. Shared between two or three people, it stays light.

To spend less, hold it at home, make it a potluck where each guest brings a dish, and skip the extras. Guests come for the parents, not the decorations.

• The place: free at home, more for a rented room or a restaurant.
• The food: often the biggest cost. A potluck or a brunch keeps it down.
• The cake, the decorations and small prizes for the games.

The guest list and the place

Ask the parents who they want there, and how many. At home it's warm and costs little; a room at a restaurant or a community hall suits a bigger group. Guests who live far away can join by video call and pick their gift from the same registry.

The invitations

Send them four to six weeks ahead, by text, by email or on paper. Give the date and time, the place, the date to reply by and where to find the gift registry, so guests don't each have to ask.

Paper invitations please the grandparents, but a link typed out on a card is hard to follow.

The gift registry

A registry keeps two guests from buying the same thing and tells them what the parents really need. Start it early, so the link is ready when the invitations go out.

• Mix the prices, so every budget finds something.
• Big items like a stroller or a car seat make good group gifts, where several guests chip in.
• Say whether hand-me-downs are welcome: plenty of families have good gear to pass on, and it saves money.
• Add everyday things too, like diapers, wipes and sleepers: they always get used.

Games and activities

One or two games are plenty. A few favourites:

• The diaper raffle: every guest who brings a box of diapers gets a ticket for a small prize. The parents end up with a good stock.
• Guess the date: everyone guesses the birth date and the weight, and the closest guess wins once the baby arrives.
• Baby photos: guests bring a photo of themselves as babies, and everyone guesses who's who.
• Advice cards: each guest writes a piece of advice or a wish for the baby, for the parents to keep.
• Bodysuits to decorate: plain bodysuits and fabric markers, and the baby gets a few one-of-a-kind outfits.

Food and decorations

Match the food to the time of day: a brunch, or finger food and a cake in the afternoon. Ask about allergies and have good alcohol-free drinks on hand. A colour theme and a few balloons or flowers are all the decoration a shower needs.

Opening the gifts

Some showers open the gifts in front of everyone, others leave them for the parents to open at home. Opening them at the party is fun but slow with a big group; if you do, ask someone to write down who gave what.

After the shower: the thank-yous

The parents send their thank-you notes in the weeks after the shower, ideally before the baby arrives. A note that names the gift and says how it will be used means more than a long one.

Some gifts won't have been picked. The parents can buy them or wait: family often asks what's still needed after the birth.